| A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the
Caribbean. It was the most lavish thing he had ever done in his introverted
life.
Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge
ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately
hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island.
Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there
was little else. He lost all hope and for weeks on end, sat dejected, forlorn... under the shrouding palm trees.
Suddenly a beautiful young woman appeared in a small rowboat.
"I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the cruise
ship, too?"
"Yes, I was, " he answered. "But where did you get that rowboat?"
"Well, with my engineering background," she smiled, "I whittled the oars
from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunnel from palm branches, and
made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree."
"But what did you use for tools?" asked the man.
"There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side
of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in
my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the
tools. But, enough of that," she said. "Where have you been living all this
time? I don't see any shelter."
"Well, to be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," he said.
"Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked.
The engineer nodded dumbly.
She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the
boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid and around a Palm
tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
"It's not much, but I call it home." Inside she said, "Sit down please;
would you like to have a drink?"
"No, thanks," said the man. "One more coconut milk and I'll throw up!"
"It won't be coconut milk," the woman replied. "I have a crude still out
back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas."
Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down
on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked,
"Tell me, have you always had a beard?"
"No," the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up
on this island."
"Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom
cabinet."
The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and
shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he
showered -- not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to
get warm water into the bathroom -- and went back downstairs.
He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked.
"Gosh, you really look handsome," said the young woman, as she ran her
fingers through his hair. "I think I'll go up and slip into something a little bit more comfortable."
After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned
wearing a negligee fashioned out of pounded palm fronds -- which revealed
her beautiful full breasts.
"Tell me," she whispered, "we've both been out here for a very long time
with no companionship. You know what I mean. Haven't you been lonely, too?
Isn't there something that you really, really miss? Something that all men
and woman need? Something that would be really nice to have right about now!"
"Yes!... Yes there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is
something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it
was just... well, it was impossible."
"Well, it's not impossible any more," she sighed.
The man, panting in vibrulous anticipation, said breathlessly: "You mean...
you've actually figured out how we can check our e-mail?
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